'BLOGGERS - REAL INTERNET DIARIES' presents...
EDINBURGH FRINGE STAR BLOGS!
How does Christine Hamilton wash out her mouth in the morning? Is Bill Bailey a boxers or briefs boy? Or does he prefer thongs? And where does Jerry Sadowitz get his rocks off? The stars of Edinburgh 2006 are keeping their very own Festival diaries for seebloggers.com… There'll be new star blogs from different top names throughout the festival, so watch this space!
If you're an Edinburgh star and you'd like to blog for us, send us a blog to press@seebloggers.com
This is not the first time I’ve been to the Edinburgh
Festival but I seem to be enjoying this one far more
than the others. Why, I can’t say. I’m working just as
hard. I’m handing out leaflets for goodness sake. I
thought I was past that but edinburgh has a way of
brutally reinforcing your place in the showbusiness
pecking order and it turns out that I’m slightly
further down than I’d hoped. It turns out that if I
don’t get involved, people won’t come.
So, every
evening between five and seven, you can find me
entertaining the queue at the fringe box office. It’s
a two hour show with ten minute bursts of me talking
nonsense and ten minute breaks for coffee while the
people in the queue buy their tickets and move on. I’m
seriously thinking about hiring some lights and a
microphone and selling tickets. Which would then
involve queueing for tickets to a show you’re actually
watching as you queue. Which is slightly weird.
Once in a while, I get people who seem to be
impervious to my comedy shtick. They look straight
ahead, flatly refuse to take a leaflet and generally
treat me like I’m some sort of insect life form. To
the woman who flashed her Assembly rooms pass at me,
as if working at a venue made her somehow immune to
being asked politely if she fancied seeing a bit of
comedy, I’d like to wish her a swift punch in the
face.
Most of the time though, people seem to quite enjoy it
and to them, I’d like to say thank you, particularly
the ones who not only laughed but actually came to the
show.
Other than that, it’s the usual round of meeting
hundreds of people I know, drinking too much, not
eating enough and trying to avoid thinking about how
I’m going to pay for it all. My friend Mike Wilmott
summed up Edinburgh for me. He said it’s a bit like
being a boxer who gets so badly beaten up he ends up
in a coma and when he wakes up in March says ‘I think
I won that one. Let me at him again’.
Ian Stone - Embrace The Chaos
Smirnoff Underbelly , daily at 21:20 until 27th Aug- book tickets here
Today's show was really hard for some reason. But until now it's been a dream so I'm not going to get upset about it. It's been really lovely, actually – people seem to completely 'get it', which is great.
I like to test people with my publicity badges. I've made a thousand paper badges by hand which I give away on the Royal Mile. My friends helped me with the cutting and sticking; it took them 13 hours. The badges are handmade, silly, shoddy and weird. Generally, if people like the badges, they'll like the show.
In previous years I've been up here as part of a group, and this is my first solo show, so I've been very worried about ticket sales. I'm scared of reviews these days. My objective is to be an even better comic, get a lot of people to come to the show and make them laugh, and that's it.
I can't see most of the acts I really want to see because they're on the same time as me – Maria Banford and Count Arthur Strong are two examples. But I will go and see David O ' Docherty, who's my favourite comic.
I am staying in the attic of an Edinburgh family's house. The dad's called Jim. It's quite weird, but quite nice.
I haven't bumped into any celebrities yet, but I sat behind someone who used to be in Heartbreak High. He was one of the baddies. I can't remember who.
Josie Long - Kindness and Exuberance
Cafe Royal, until 27th Aug (not Tuesdays) - book tickets here
http://www.ilovejosielong.co.uk/
Janey Godley
Cobblestones, rain, flyers being shoved in your face and the nightly assault of the amateurish Edinburgh Ghost tour, will always be the continuing and enduring memory of every Edinburgh Fringe I have attended.
This year I am working in two different venues daily. The Assembly rooms are a cornucopia of overly fancy vestibules that resemble State Apartments; you know the kind of place you imagine that Prince William was conceived? To stand in that room with a huge chandelier hanging from the Duck Egg Blue ceiling and perform a play about heroin –is just plain bizarre – but wonderful at the same time…if you know what I mean?
The Underbelly on the other hand looks like the place the Edinburgh Ghost Tour should take place…all winding stone steps and brick walls that bleed a strange rust/blood liquid that pours down the walls in some rooms as you tell jokes! Perfect.
Due to the fact that I am performing three shows daily, I am not
getting much time to catch up with comedy mates, or even get round all
the venues for that matter.
I am pacing myself, I am getting to bed early and making a concerted
effort not to make voodoo dolls of the critics who hate me (I normally
do this in week one and then wait to see which critic dies in a
horrible giant needle piercing their head accident…) and I am making
sure I am eating good food and avoiding over-dosing on chocolate, fags
and hot pies.
My daughter is with me and we are performing a show together this year, that's cool and we get to hang out as well. I get to embarrass her at every turn and she gets to laugh and remind me that in the bigger scheme of things I will surely die first, how we laughed!
Janey Godley's Blog - Live!
Belly Laugh, Smirnoff Underbelly, until 27th Aug at 20:10 - buy tickets here
Janey Godley and Ashley Storrie's 'Square Street'
Delhi Belly, Smirnoff Underbelly, until 27th Aug at 18:30 - book tickets here
Janey Godley's 'The Point Of Yes'
West Drawing Room, Assembly Rooms, until 27th Aug at 16:20 - book tickets here
Nicholas Parsons
Anyone who loves the theatre and enjoys the atmosphere and excitement of theatrical entertainment can find no better place to be in August than Edinburgh. The whole centre of the entertainment industry seems to have moved to this fine capital city for nearly four weeks. There is every kind of theatrical fare and every standard of performance. The whole city seems to breath the very essence of live entertainment and all that is best in the arts, and if you are working there you get caught up in this great cultural swell. There is a frisson in the air, and everyone seems more relaxed and at ease, even the residents who must find this invasion of their city in August somewhat overwhelming, but I hope they feel proud that their city is home to one of the largest and most prestigious festivals in the world.
Over the years I have written and presented a number of shows in Edinburgh. My first visit was in 1989 when I appeared at the official Festival, and performed my show devoted to the life and work of the great nonsense poet, Edward Lear, at the Museum Theatre for two weeks. In spite of limited publicity it was very successful, and I even went home with money in my pocket. The costs of putting on a show in Edinburgh are so high, to a great extent the measure of your success is calculated in how much money you take home at the end of the run.
My next visit was my first appearance on The Fringe, when Mark Goucher presented my One Man Comedy Show at the Queen's Theatre in 1992. This was a short run of only one week, and the business was amazing. Perhaps the secret of making a good living in Edinburgh is doing short seasons.
In 1999 I spoke to Christopher Richardson at The Pleasance and suggested a show I wanted to do, which combined some stand-up comedy with guests whom I would interview. I called it The Nicholas Parsons Happy Hour. We agreed a joint production,and tried it at The Pleasance in Islington, London for two nights. We brought the show to Edinburgh for a three week run, and I presented it at The Pleasance Over the Road, a converted Church Hall, limited atmosphere but a fine venue when it is full.
The show was successful and I returned the following year to the same venue. As with any theatrical entertainment if you want it to succeed you refine and polish at each performance. The third year we moved into The Pleasance Courtyard, to the Cabaret Bar venue, smaller but the intimacy suits the show, and I would rather have house full boards up than play to a big venue which you don't always fill. I am returning now for my seventh season. I keep wondering if the show has reached its sell by date. Apparently not. I suppose what sustains it is the fact that every show is different. There are different guests, different conversation, and if you indulge in ad-lib comedy that is also different at every performance.
So I am back for my seventh season and I know I am going to enjoy it; the whole atmosphere, the spontaneity, engaging with the audience and above all enjoying everything the Edinburgh Festival Fringe has come to represent.
Nicholas Parsons Happy Hour
Pleasance Cabaret Bar, 9th-26th (not Mondays) at 17:10 - book tickets here
Just A Minute, hosted by Nicholas Parsons
Pleasance Courtyard , 16th Aug at 12:15 and 13:45 - sold out
There comes a time in a Fringe when, as a comedian, you have to make harsh managerial decisions over whether to keep your underperforming jokes in the team, or drop them and make them train with your reserve jokes, or even loan them out to an open spot to let them have some gig time.
Of course, none of the jokes are happy with this, but you have to be tough with them, and show them who is boss. Yesterday, after my show at The Stand, I had to take one routine aside and tell it that it was no longer needed. This is obviously a difficult situation for both the comedian and the material, and I will not deny that heated words were exchanged. The routine in question claimed that it was “just on a run of bad luck”, and that it “is twice as good as some of the other jokes”, and wants a chance to prove it.
However, I have been concerned at the routine’s lack of progress since the start of the Fringe – its attitude in practice has been somewhat slapdash, its has shown some complacency about its set-up, and its strained punchline is showing no signs of making a full recovery to full gig fitness.
After I told the routine to pack its bags and get out of my show, it stormed out of The Stand, swore at one of the venue staff, and vowed to prove me wrong when it found a new comedian who had more confidence in it.
I bear the routine no grudge. I wish it all the best for its future, and hope that it proves to be funnier in the future, wherever it goes. And perhaps in years to come it will look back on the 2006 Fringe, and thank me for making it realise that it takes more than a good basic idea for a comedy routine to be truly funny.
Let us hope that the material I have promoted up to the first team to take its place seizes its chance to stake a claim for a permanent place in the line-up.
Andy Zaltzman Detonates 70 Minutes of Unbridled Afternoon
The Stand , daily at 14:50 (except 14 Aug) - book tickets here
Political Animal, hosted by Andy Zaltzman
Smirnoff Baby Belly, Thurs-Sat at 22:05 - book tickets here
We arrived on the 11.45 from Kings Cross with our two tonnes of lugggage to be greeted by our upbeat promoter and his dog. Keys, and off to our lovely house near Haymarket, a beautiful two story Georgian, each with ensuites and cable TV. We may never leave our bedrooms at this rate!
Next day, Ian cooks us all English breakfast and manages to burn their beautiful wooden kitchen worktops!!! We are not meant to be the tenants from hell...we're gay men! Never mind, Big Dave is happy about the size of the fridge and stores all his pies in there. Even tonight, an audience member gave him one - she remembered his song from our 2004 show, 'I ate all the pies'.
Tuesday, we picked up our sexy new kilts from the lovely Howie at 21st Century Kilts (no plug intended) and we all think we look pretty cool in them....except Ian, who thinks his legs look like two pasty, undercooked savaloys! And the front row of our audience gets an extra bonus when he does his dance twirls... Piano poof David managed to cruise a slim blond German boy called Jurgen from our show last night; he said he was interested in music but we think he just wanted to be taken up the octave.
All in all our first few shows have gone well, except I pulled my shoulder on opening night.. very sore... all that opening night stress. So I'm off to Homo Place for a massage...oops I meant Holmes Place. Must go - curtain up in half an hour and we haven't even got the eyeliner on yet. See you at the bar. Love 4 Poofs and a Piano.
